"Is this sexual abuse?"

Key findings

Many adults contacting our helpline for advice about children’s sexualised behaviour are unclear about which behaviours are part of ‘normal’ sexual development, and what is harmful and/or abusive.

Parents and professionals don’t always know the most appropriate way to respond to children who display harmful sexual behaviour and/or who have experienced peer sexual abuse.

Peer sexual abuse can happen in a range of settings, including:

• at school
• at home
• in public spaces
• at parties
• at a friend’s house
• online.

Young people can be confused about whether or not they have experienced peer sexual abuse. Reasons for this include:

• they are confused about what constitutes ‘normal’ sexual activity
• they don’t know whether they gave consent
• they were drunk when the abuse took place
• the abuse was carried out by a friend or partner
• the abuse took place online
• they blame themselves for what happened.

Young people are often reluctant to tell anybody about peer sexual abuse. They may:

• worry that they won’t be taken seriously
• fear they will be blamed or bullied about what happened
• be frightened of what the other young person will do to them if they speak out
• not think that what happened was serious enough to report.

Experiencing peer sexual abuse can have a long lasting impact on a young person. In some cases it can result in symptoms associated with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).