It's Not Love

The films

There are three short films that should be watched in the order they appear below as they have interconnecting stories, though they do work independently of each other.

Lesson plans and supporting activities

Each lesson plan includes:

• learning objectives
• teacher’s notes
• activities.

The curriculum map sets out how each lesson matches to relevant curriculum areas.

Timings and sessions

Each film and the supporting activities can be delivered in 50 minutes to one hour.

We recommend a minimum of four sessions to cover the whole resource.

Tips on delivering the sessions

• Familiarise yourself with the film content before showing young people and be aware that the contents may act as a trigger for anyone who has been affected by issues raised in the films.
• Before watching each film, ask young people to look out for any risks and concerns for that character.
• The films work best when watched on a large screen in dark surroundings.
• Reiterate the message that the victim is never responsible or to blame for the abuse that they experience.
• Ensure that everyone knows where they can seek support if they need to talk to someone about any issues raised in the films, or anything else. This could be a designated person in your school, a safe adult or Childline.
• We suggest that after an initial discussion with the whole group about the issues and concerns they have noted, split into smaller groups to engage in the learning activities.

Lucy is aged 14 and lives in East Marsh, Grimsby with her recently separated parents. She’s just been moved to the bottom set at school and is missing her friends.

Watch Lucy's video

Background to Lucy's story

Lucy’s mum was born and bred in Grimsby and has recently got a job in Asda. Lucy’s dad is Polish and came to Grimsby in 2005. He felt that the UK offered job prospects and one of his friends had moved to Grimsby and life had turned good for him. Lucy’s dad initially worked on the docks and more recently worked in one of the fish-packing factories before losing his job.

Lucy’s parents both lost their jobs due to staff cuts following Brexit. They have recently separated after increasing emotional difficulties. Her dad became depressed, distant and felt worthless. He increasingly felt that, following Brexit, the UK was not the place for him and wished to return to Poland. He wanted Lucy, her brother and mum to go with him, but Lucy’s mum didn’t want to as all her extended family live in Grimsby and she didn’t want the family to be apart.

Since her dad left and returned home to Poland, Lucy has become increasingly withdrawn and feels that her world is falling apart as she misses her dad and misses being a family all together. Lucy likes school but has recently been diagnosed with dyslexia and has been placed in the bottom-set, away from her friends. Lucy has begun to experience anxiety as she feels that she doesn’t fit in with her new classmates and has started to miss school. Lucy’s mum lets her stay off school as she is worried that she is becoming depressed and she doesn’t want to lose her emotionally like she has lost her husband. Lucy’s mum doesn’t feel that staying on at school after Lucy’s GCSE’s is the right thing for her and feels that earning a wage rather than aspiring to go to college would be best.

Recently Lucy has been noticing a group of older girls, hanging out in Grant Thorold Park, playing music, having a laugh and calling out to boys. Lucy is increasingly becoming fascinated by them. Lucy has never seen girls act so confidently before – though she’d hate it if anyone ever catcalled her like that, Lucy is drawn to them. Lucy recognises one of the girls from the Polish community club but she hasn’t seen her for years. Jo is a few years older than Lucy, she used to play on the machines or hang outside the club with all the popular boys. To Lucy’s surprise, Jo recognises her and despite their age gap they strike up a close friendship. Lucy begins to hang out with Jo and the other girls in the park, sometimes going back to Jo’s flat on the outskirts of town and staying the night. Lucy feels that she is a lesbian but has not disclosed that to any of her family or friends.

> Download Lucy’s lesson plan (PDF)

Liam is aged 15 and lives with his mum and younger brother in a two-bed first floor flat above a shop on Eleanor Street which is at the back of Freeman Street – the main high street in Grimsby. The flat is noisy at night. He’s still at school and studying for his GCSEs and he loves playing football.

Watch Liam's video

Background to Liam's story

Liam’s dad died a few years back. Liam misses him, especially him coming to watch him play football.

Liam has angry outbursts at home and at school. He is frustrated as he feels that he’s never going to be able to leave Grimsby and become a professional footballer. He has a coach at the football club, Chris, who can see his talent and believes he can make it in football but that the only thing stopping him is his anger issues and the fact that he keeps getting into fights at school. Chris is trying to talk to Liam about this and help him find ways of calming his anger and managing his emotions to get him into the next level of the football club. Chris is hopeful for Liam’s future.

Liam hangs out with his mates from the football team down at the local community café. He likes a girl at school called Yasmin. Yasmin quite likes Liam too, but she is not impressed that he keeps fighting and she blanks him when he does. Yasmin watches the local football matches as her brother plays in Liam’s team and she can see Liam’s skills and talents on the football pitch.

Liam doesn’t know how to talk to Yasmin and gets frustrated that he can’t find the confidence to approach her. He knows that fighting with other lads doesn’t impress Yasmin but he finds it hard to change his behaviour.

Liam takes a lot of his anger and frustration out on his mum and younger brother and this can turn into verbal and physical aggression. His mum works three jobs across the week. She feels over worked and underpaid and like this situation will never change for her and her family. It’s been hard since her husband died both emotionally and financially. One of her jobs is three nights a week and Liam looks after his younger brother while she’s at work.

> Download Liam’s lesson plan (PDF)

Gem and Kian

Gem is aged 15 and lives near Grant Thorold Park in East Marsh. She is at school studying for her GCSEs. She’s bright and wants to do well at school. Gem has been dating Kian who is aged 17 and lives in Duke of York Gardens in West Marsh. Kian left school at 16.

Watch Gem and Kian's video

Background to Gem's story

In the past Gem has experienced domestic abuse in her home between her mum and dad. Her mum has had a few partners since her and Gem’s dad split up, but is now in a happy and steady relationship with Dan.

Her dad and his family are well known in this area. She has seen her dad on and off over the years since he left. When he turns up in the area unannounced, he comes to see her.

Gem is close to her mum and mum’s new partner Dan who Gem really likes. He’s kind and wouldn’t hurt her or her mum.

Gem really wants their relationship to work as her mum is much happier and so is she. Although Gem has memories of her mum being treated badly by men she feels more hope now for the future.

Gem often wanders the streets, hanging out with friends, going to house parties. She started doing this to get away from witnessing the violence at home but she didn’t tell people what was going on and held it as a secret for a long time. The experience of witnessing domestic abuse still stays with Gem. She tries to act older than her age and is known to local services because of the history of domestic abuse in the family.

Gem works on a Friday and Saturday night in the local chip shop. She’s a hard worker. The fish and chip shop is on the sea front so it’s often busy. Everyone knows her and she’s very friendly with customers. She likes working there as it gives her money, free fish and chips and she hears all the local gossip.

Gem has not long started dating Kian. Kian is older and has a car. He works for a garage and is training to be a mechanic. Kian first met Gem when he came into the fish and chip shop and asked her out to a house party in East Marsh. Gem thinks about Kian a lot and likes the attention he gives her – she feels needed and wanted by him.

Background to Kian's story

Kian is an apprentice mechanic working in a garage. His manager is called Greg. Kian looks up to Greg and is keen to progress at work and get a promotion in the future as he is motivated by money and position. Greg can see Kian’s potential to do well at work but worries about his attitude outside of work.

Kian has recently passed his driving test and uses his dad’s car when he can.

He lives with his dad. His mum left a while ago and he is still very angry but understands that mum couldn’t carry on living there as mum and dad’s relationship had broken down. He feels abandoned by his mum.

His Dad works long hours and is on a zero-hours contract, feeling the pressure that this brings. Kian gets on with his dad but when his dad’s stressed at work and tired, they can argue.

He likes going to house parties in East Marsh. He is known by a lot of people and has quite a reputation. He has started dating Gem; they met at the local chippy and then she went to a house party with him a few months ago. He is quite controlling of Gem – as to what she wears, who she speaks to, where she goes. He thinks she should pay more attention to him. He monitors what Gem puts out on social media and gets his male friends to keep an eye on her and report back to him if she’s seen talking to any other lads. He likes Gem a lot and gets frustrated that she works at the fish and chip shop as he would like to spend more time with her on a weekend when he’s not working.

At the last house party Kian and Gem got into an argument as he felt that she was looking at another lad. It ended in a heated argument, and he slapped her and aggressively pushed her out of the house where the party was. Kian feels that Gem doesn’t understand how her behaviour makes him feel.

Greg, Kian’s manager, has recently heard through his friendship with the family that run the fish and chip shop where Gem works about Kian getting controlling and aggressive with Gem. Greg has told Kian that this is not the way to treat someone and that he needs to sort his behaviour out. Kian looks up to Greg and is embarrassed that he knows what’s been going on but finds it hard to control his feelings and behaviour towards Gem.

> Download Gem and Kian’s lesson plan (PDF)