Helping children speak out
Children might not always feel able to talk to adults about sexualised behaviour. But there are things you can do to make it easier.
- Build a positive, trusting relationship with children. Give them frequent opportunities to share their thoughts and opinions, and encourage them to speak out. Listen to them respectfully and respond appropriately to what they say.
- Build a culture within your organisation that challenges inappropriate behaviour. This can help children feel more confident that they will be supported if they raise concerns.
- Having specialist staff in pastoral care or counselling roles can make it easier for children to share anything they’re worried about.1
Talking with children about sexual behaviour
It’s important to talk to children in an age-appropriate way about sexual behaviour, trust, consent, boundaries and responsibility. This will help them have a clearer understanding of what behaviour is, and is not, appropriate and why.
If children are used to having open discussions with adults, it can help them feel more comfortable about speaking out if they are worried or upset about anything.
It’s good practice to let parents know about the topics you’re discussing and make time to answer their questions as well.
> Read our advice on how to have difficult conversations with children
Relationships and sex education
Lessons on relationships, sex and sexuality should be a part of the curriculum.
> Find out more about the curriculum guidance for relationships and sex education in each UK nation
Topics you can discuss with primary school-aged children include:
- what caring friendships and respectful relationships look like
- how relationships might be different online and offline
- the importance of privacy and boundaries
- appropriate and inappropriate physical contact
- who they can talk to if they are ever worried or upset about anything.
Speak out Stay safe is our safeguarding programme for children aged 5 to 11 years. We provide free resources for primary schools, alternative provisions and home educators to equip children with the knowledge they need to stay safe from abuse and neglect.
> Get more details about Speak out Stay safe
Topics you can discuss with secondary school-aged children include:
> Discover how to promote healthy relationships from early years through to older children
> Listen to our podcast on preventing harmful sexual behaviour in schools
> Take our training on managing sexualised behaviour in primary and secondary schools
Responding to disclosures
During your discussions, a child or young person might tell you they have displayed or experienced problematic or harmful sexual behaviour (PSB or HSB). Or you might notice something that makes you concerned. If this happens, it’s important to respond quickly and appropriately.
Children and young people can also contact the Report Abuse in Education helpline to talk about being involved or witnessing incidents or sharing experiences of sexual abuse and harassment by calling 0800 136 663 or email help@nspcc.org.uk.
> Learn how to manage and respond to incidents of problematic or harmful sexual behaviour
> Find out how to respond if a child has experienced or displayed problematic or harmful sexual behaviour
Support from Childline
Childline has produced age-appropriate advice for children and young people about sexual abuse. You might want to signpost children to Childline for support, or use some of these examples to help start a conversation.
> See Childline’s information about sexual abuse for children and young people
Children can also contact Childline for free on 0800 1111 if they need to talk to one of our counsellors confidentially.
> Download Childline posters