Why language matters: why professionals need to talk about child sexual abuse

One of the key findings from the Child Safeguarding Practice Review Panel’s (the Panel) national review¹ was that professionals can struggle with understanding, talking about and responding to child sexual abuse, especially when it takes place in the family environment.

In this blog, we explore some of the key points identified in the Panel’s review and highlight some of the ways professionals can bring words to the silence around child sexual abuse.

> Read our CASPAR briefing summarising the Panel’s national review into child sexual abuse within the family environment

Don’t wait for words

The review found that professionals were sometimes afraid to proactively talk to children about concerns of sexual abuse. This was often because they were worried about asking leading questions or interfering with potential criminal investigations. This meant they would wait for children to speak out before taking action. Waiting for a child to share their experiences may mean that sexual abuse continues while professional concerns remain unexplored.

It’s never the responsibility of the child to come forward about their experience of abuse. Sometimes children need the adult working with them to explicitly recognise and openly talk about what is happening to them.^2,2

Having the confidence to ask questions is key and we can ask questions which are probing without being leading. Sometimes open questions can feel too big for children and so may feel overwhelming. Using closed, non-leading questions can be more effective and easier for children to answer.

For example:

• “do you feel safe?” is a yes or no answer but tells us a lot
• “on a scale of 0 – 10, 0 being not safe at all and 10 being very safe, how safe do you feel?” Talking about feelings on a scale can sometimes be easier for children than talking about sexual abuse.³

> Learn more about how you can hear and facilitate the voice of the child

Understand why it’s difficult for children to share their concerns

It can be especially difficult for children to talk about being sexually abused by someone within their family. They may feel shame and embarrassment, can be concerned about betraying their family or may fear further harm if they do tell.

Many children may not have the language to talk about what is happening to them. Depending on their cultural background and the language they are most comfortable using, children may not have the words to describe the abuse they are experiencing or there may not be a direct translation for certain words.

Signs that a child may be experiencing sexual abuse also extend far beyond verbal communication. Relying on children to verbally talk about the harms they’ve experienced can mean that professionals miss key signs of sexual abuse. It can also mean that children who are pre-verbal, non-verbal and those who use different ways of communicating can be excluded from sharing their concerns.

> Learn more about recognising signs and indicators of child sexual abuse

Adapting practice and finding the best way to communicate with a child can help them express what is happening to them. This could be through working with interpreters or someone who the child is comfortable communicating with.

Anything a child says should be taken seriously

Many children try and open up about their experiences of being sexually abused, but all too often they go unheard. The Panel’s review highlighted how professionals sometimes:

• don’t realise that a child is trying to express a concern
• don’t ‘connect the dots’ with other things a child has said or behaviours they have displayed
• overlook or don’t take seriously something a child has said because it’s not seen as an explicit report.

Children aren’t always able to fully and directly communicate about their experiences. They might only feel comfortable telling a trusted person what has happened and may feel distressed if asked to repeat their account in a formal setting such as a police interview. A child retracting, changing or not wanting to re-tell their experience doesn’t mean that the abuse didn’t happen.

It’s important that professionals take what children say seriously and remain curious about things that children say and do that may indicate sexual abuse. If children don’t feel that adults are really listening to them, this can discourage them from seeking help when they need it.⁴

> Access our resources on responding to children when they talk about abuse

Talking about child sexual abuse in the family environment

The Panel found that professionals can find other harms a family might be experiencing, such as neglect, easier to address and talk about than sexual abuse. This means that sexual abuse can get overlooked.

To follow up on concerns about sexual abuse in the family environment, professionals should look to understand what life is like for the child. These conversations should be child-led and child-focused.

For example:

• find a safe space to talk to a child, which might mean away from family members
• use language that children can understand
• reassure children that they can say anything and that they will not get in trouble for it.

By understanding how to talk about sexual abuse, professionals can address concerns earlier, work effectively with children and families and bring words to the silence around child sexual abuse.